I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
