Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize