dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
