If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
