i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
