I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
