god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
