I'm really into asian looking animals
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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