I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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