the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
