It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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