Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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