laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
