Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
