I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize