so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
