Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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