Define "chronic" masturbator.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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