just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize