You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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