The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
