Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize