just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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