time to smoke my breakfast
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
