White coat. Heels.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
