Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.

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(956): View more from Texas

Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.

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(714): View more from California

I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.

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(661): View more from California

Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade

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(425): View more from Washington

THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.

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