No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize