Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
where are you?
Hypothermia
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
