remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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