No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
