He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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