I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
