why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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