so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
do herpes really smell.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
