i don't like sucking hair
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
