I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
