Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
