its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
