i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
