also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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