office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
