she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
