so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize