I showed him my bush... on skype.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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