Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
