she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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