apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Randomize
