bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
