Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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