I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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