Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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