What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize