your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
