well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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