This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She told me I should be a condom model.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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