ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
