Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
