Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
