FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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