They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
