bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Buhtt sex?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
