I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
