Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
