If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
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