Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hippo gnu deer
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
