The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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